So I Changed

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi

I've been struggling a bit with my encaustic painting, and have been on a self-imposed break to regroup.  I'm pretty hard on myself when I paint.  Perhaps it's because I'm looking to deliver a piece of myself onto the board or canvas, and if I can't feel my presence, neither will anyone else.  That is my purpose, that is what drives me: to feel the catch in my heart when I know I've done it.  To have the colors, textures and lines translate into an expression of well, my soul.  I'm not saying I've created a masterpiece or that the feeling happens as strongly with every painting, it doesn't.  What I mean is that I am no longer waving my hands about and saying in a childlike manner, "see me, see me!" Instead, I grow older and wiser (hopefully) and feel like it's a kind of offering.  Something that people can take or not, like or not--it's still me.  

"So I Changed" is 16x16 cold wax and oil on a cradled panel.  I posted two photos showing the transformation in my layers on my last post on August 2nd.  This is now the finished painting.