Without Regret or Apology

I'm painting with much more frequency these days, and with that comes a better sense of personal style. I've struggled with that for some time-knowing there was something there that needed to get out, needed to be created, but whatever it was just out of reach. 

My newest painting, entitled "Without Regret or Apology" is about finding and embracing my personal style. Knowing I love muted, dark colors, rusty bits and things showing age and wear. I'm not whimsical or perky; my soul is quiet and reflective. I love whimsy and perky, but it's just not mine to create. 

This painting is off to The Art Center-Highland Park where it will be part of a fundraising event in May.  12x12 encaustic and oil on cradled panel. 

Encaustic Nature in Art

I am honored, excited, and truthfully a bit nervous to be a part of the encaustic exhibit at The Art Center of Mount Prospect that opens this evening! Two of my paintings were accepted, "Dust Bowl" and "Unsettled Plains." This is my first show ever! 

Transfers....

I've struggled endlessly with encaustic transfers, but I finally have one! It's not pristine, but it's recognizable! 

The Complexity of Time...

"It is never to late to be what you might have been." George Elliot

I am a late bloomer; there's just no denying it. Has it been an interesting path that has brought me here?  Sure, some of it, but parts of it were dry as the desert floor.  The thing is, fast or slow, exciting or dull, the time has past and here I am, knocking on creativity's door.  I do struggle to learn the technology that will allow me to connect with others, and feel a bit bad, deep down, that it took me so long to find my place, but if I don't start now yet another ten years will pass me by.  I am moving, Mr. Elliot, toward what I might have been.

With that said, today on day 2 of the 30 day painting challenge, my offering is a 6x6 mini abstract.  I had some fun and relaxed a bit as I mixed, experimented and played. I learned a few things, and while this probably isn't my favorite piece ever, I may just turn this little guy into a journal cover.  Actually, my intention was to do just that when I decided to join this challenge--create small paintings that I would be able to re-purpose. 

Choices We Make

"I am an artist.  I am an artist because I choose to be.  I am an artist because I have reconstructed my entire existence to include the art making process in my daily life." Samantha daSilva, Artist.

It's hard to hold up the artist banner.  I have been "playing" the role of artist for a few years now--trying out mixed media, coming to love the sweet smell of beeswax and the sheer thrill of fusing an encaustic painting with a torch instead of a heat gun, smearing and dotting acrylic paint with my fingers as I explore my beloved abstracts, and finding silent bliss in learning new bindings for my handmade journals. 

I am still exploring, still experimenting, and still reaching toward finding my own style, my own voice.  I've "pinned" plenty of inspiration, taken Flora Bowley's on line class and an in person encaustic/book workshop with Bridgette Guerzon Mills, but for the most part it's just me, a canvas and some paint.  Through it all I have been paying close attention to what speaks to me and what I aspire to, knowing that I am learning about myself with each brush stroke so that my art will become a reflection of me and not of the artists I admire.  That being said, I truly believe that those who teach us ultimately leave a mark on our soul and are therefore always represented in our art in some way. 

The abstracts I am creating now are me:  pure and simple, layered and complex.  When I look at them I can breathe: they soothe my frazzled nerves and quiet my scattered thoughts.  They make me want

to stand up and
shout: "I am an artist.  I am an artist because I choose to be." (Thank you, Samantha!)

 

What do you wish to experience?

Today Jamie Ridler asks, "What do you wish to experience?"  I gave this some real thought, but to be honest, my response could have been very different.  Not necessarily superficial, but not something that I truly need to experience in my life.  Let me tell you what happened.  Last September I came home from work to find that my home had been burglarized.  I live in the suburbs where it’s safe. Hey, I’ve lived in this area all my life.  It’s quiet, probably dull, and I have never felt fearful.  Until now.  Now every car that slows or stops in front of my home is suspect, as are the joggers, bicycle riders, and random noises—squeaks and creaks that any 50 year old house might make.  I am afraid and have been since the police left my house 11 months ago.   My fear isn’t as intense as it was, but it is with me every day.  My wish is to once again experience the feeling of being safe in one’s own space. 

Ok, I’d like to experience a live workshop with Flora Bowley too!  There’s one in Wisconsin, which isn’t too far from me coming up this fall, but it’s sold out and I’m on the wait list.  I’d love to get in!  By the way, Jamie just interviewed Flora on her podcast!  Thanks Jamie!

Share...

I'm always late for Wishcast Wednesday...maybe because it's my day off and I spend it cleaning and running about--who knows, I'm just late!  At any rate, this week we were asked what it is that we would like to share.  I've given it a lot of thought, and my wish is to have the opportunity to share my painting/art and consequently a bit of my heart and soul with the world.  That leaves one a bit vulnerable and perhaps a bit uncomfortable, but after taking Flora Bowley's Bloom True e-course (and 13 years of yoga practice), I've learned that being uncomfortable isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It really is an opportunity for growth if you let it be--if you can remember and then embrace the experience!  Ha! It's not always easy!   I'm starting on this painting this afternoon.  We'll see where it takes me--I know I'll be uncomfortable and frustrated and flustered, but ultimately transformed.