Happy New Year 2015

I'm trying out Yupo paper for the first time today. Apparently it's not actually paper at all, but rather a synthetic material-polypropylene. I've read that watercoloists are using it, but that any water based medium works. It's interesting and fun to play around a bit on the first day of the new year. This one's all about the brayer, squeegee, and inks, which I've never worked with before. I'm not sure this is quite done; I don't have a few of the supplies I'd like to have and I'm trying to figure out what I can use to improvise,  but I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. 

And Then It Was Done

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.

~Author Unknown -

They say that the only constant in life is the fact that things will change, and this autumn is marking a time of big change for me.  Big change.  I've worked at my job for 25 years now, and sadly, it's coming to a close at the end of the month.  I look around my work space and find it hard to believe I won't be coming here before long.  I never defined myself by my job--I'm a dental receptionist/office manager so I guess I wouldn't--the "real me" be it student, yogini, or artist was always outside of work.  When I reflect back, however, I know that my years working here have been time well spent, and while I didn't define myself by my job, it was a full part of me.  It was a good environment for me; a steady pace without many highs or lows.  Quiet.  Good people.  I've spent half of my life here, in this very room, where I now sit typing this blog entry.   The days are long, but the years are short my friends.  Take time to savor.   

I've started a small series to mark this change in my life.  I imagine I'll be moving back and forth between encaustics and oil and cold wax.  At any rate, this is a 6x6 encaustic painting entitled, "And Then It Was Done."  First in the series.  More to follow.  

Small Squares

I have long wanted to paint a series of wood panels and combine them to create one large piece of
art...can I just say that I have determined that procrastination is a form of self-torture?  Sometimes you just have to do it...stop thinking or planning so much and just get it done!  Thankfully, the 30 paintings in 30 days challenge gave me a kick in the pants, and, after all, I already had the small wood panels and the piece of plywood (24 x 24) that the 6x6 panels will ultimately be attached to.

I prepped five panels and have four of the five complete; tonight I will gesso another five.  I'm working with oil and cold wax, which is quickly becoming my favorite medium. Here are two of my "completed" panels...they may change a bit as things come together. 

The Space Between

What art offers is space — a certain breathing room for the spirit. ~John Updike

When I titled this painting, for some odd reason, I was thinking about the breath.   Specifically, the pause between the inhale and exhale--that space where consciousness expands and infinite possibility exists.   I believe that when you pay attention to the breath you become a witness to spirit--your spirit.  I also believe that creating art in any form offers us the same glimpse.  

"The Space Between" is my day five painting for the 30 day painting challenge.  

I Am Seeking Too

I recently discovered the journals of Elisabeth Couloigner on Pinterest, specifically her "I'm Searching" series.  I am captivated by the simplicity of color and texture that she employes, and have come to realize that it's those very things in art that really makes my heart sing.  It's why I love abstracts so much, especially those that lean toward the subdued.  I try to get colorful, but it just doesn't feel right to me--maybe down the line, who knows!

At any rate, I have been inspired to start my own journal in response to Elisabeth's "I'm Searching."  I've actually been looking at just this kind of thing to use as a way to start my day or before a painting session, so I dug out a moleskine journal, and "I Am Seeking Too" was born.  Interestingly, it's the one place that I enjoy using acrylics these days--I think it's the surface of the journal paper.  The real win, however, is that I'm playing, learning, and gathering ideas for future abstracts all at the same time. I will be using some of my daily journal paintings for part of the 30 day challenge I'm participating in.  I really, really want to keep up with everyone, and this is one way that I know I can. 

There All Along

"When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about." Rumi

I've decided to participate in a 30 paintings in 30 days challenge via the Artists helping Artists podcast. While they won't all be encaustic, I'm happy to have this painting to present for day one. I basically stepped away from encaustics for the month of August and, instead, focused on oil and cold wax. It was a good decision, I believe. Coming back to it today felt good and right. 

"There All Along" 8x8 encaustic, oil, and image transfer on cradled birch panel. 

Walk Toward Me

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”
― Rumi 

 

I ran across this quote by Rumi today, which is just lovely, as Rumi is apt to be, and it got me to thinking...I wonder, how many times have you heard the question, "Where does art come from?"  Have you thought about it?  Does it matter to you?   Do we think about these things too much?  Can the question ever really be answered?  Is your answer the only relevant answer--for you? 

I liken the Rumi quote to the Sanskrit word, namaste.  We've all heard it spoken; it's part of our popular culture now, but more than a greeting, the word namaste is saying that we recognize a spark of divinity in another person, and that that same spark resides within us.  Is art, perhaps, the physical manifestation of the witnessing of our divinity? 

"Walk Toward Me" 10x10 oil and cold wax on wood panel. 

So I Changed

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi

I've been struggling a bit with my encaustic painting, and have been on a self-imposed break to regroup.  I'm pretty hard on myself when I paint.  Perhaps it's because I'm looking to deliver a piece of myself onto the board or canvas, and if I can't feel my presence, neither will anyone else.  That is my purpose, that is what drives me: to feel the catch in my heart when I know I've done it.  To have the colors, textures and lines translate into an expression of well, my soul.  I'm not saying I've created a masterpiece or that the feeling happens as strongly with every painting, it doesn't.  What I mean is that I am no longer waving my hands about and saying in a childlike manner, "see me, see me!" Instead, I grow older and wiser (hopefully) and feel like it's a kind of offering.  Something that people can take or not, like or not--it's still me.  

"So I Changed" is 16x16 cold wax and oil on a cradled panel.  I posted two photos showing the transformation in my layers on my last post on August 2nd.  This is now the finished painting.  

On The Easel Lately

"The beginning is the most important part of the work." Plato

In my dreams I often find myself in front of a very large canvas holding an equally large palate knife.  I smooth the paint along and it flows like soft frosting.  The room is quiet; the only sounds are the scratch of the knife as it moves along the canvas and that of my breath.  The act of painting itself seems effortless and natural--graceful even, with movements akin to a waltz. I am meant to do this.

Maybe I've watched the Gerhard Richter documentary too many times, who knows, but seriously, this a recurring dream.   I'm not questioning whether I know what I'm doing or not; I'm just painting.  If only that state of mind would follow me into my waking hours!  I have at least 6 encaustic paintings started and I'm stalled, which is why I've been allowing myself some cold wax time.  It's kind of like the buttery paint of my dreams!

My first layers....   

I image not much of the red will remain-just hints perhaps, but it's just the beginning and like Plato says, it's the most important part of the work.  Surely not for it's great beauty, but rather for the process; for the seed of yourself that is exposed and implanted before your brain and ego get involved.

Birth The Unbound

The past week or two I have been experimenting with oil and cold wax in between my time with encaustics. I'm looking to get out of my own way, trying to become less rigid, which may take some doing but it's something I really need to cultivate! My paints are laid out on my table and instead of full on painting sessions, I find myself pondering what to do next as I walk by.  I stop and I dabble, then I think some more as I continue on my way.  Perhaps the next time I stop I'm there for an hour.  I'm just letting myself be free with the process--I'm not trying so hard, I'm just letting myself experiment and create.   My favorite time, however, has been the early morning.  Sleepy-eyed but with fresh perspective there are no boundaries. 

I'm keeping the palette simple-just a few colors that I love. That's what it's all about after all-doing what you love. 

Lost In the Call

"Let the caller and the called disappear; be lost in the call." Rumi

I have been painting a lot.  Sadly, however, I have not been producing anything I'd care to share, and have been scraping the wax off my paintings as quickly as I put it on.  It's frustrating, yes, but truthfully it makes me a little sad.  Sad because I start doubting myself; I begin wondering what I'm doing aside from wasting time and money.  I will be the first to tell you that I'm self-taught, that I'm not always clear about what I'm doing technique wise or compositionally (I hope that's a word.) I will also tell you that despite wanting to pull my hair out the majority of the time, I love painting.  Time is irrelevant and non-existent when I'm painting.  I talk to myself, I wonder, I try colors, I'm curious and I am fully engaged. I am lost in the call.

"Lost In the Call" is my first oil and cold wax painting.  It's 12x12 on a canvas panel.  It was an interesting process--quite different from my normal encaustic painting, but fun.  I plan on playing with this medium a bit more!     

Community Art Exhibition

I'm so happy and excited to be a part of the juried community art exhibition at Moraine Valley! It runs from May 28th to July 31st. As someone very new to art shows, I am beyond excited that my encaustic paintings will be hanging on a wall that isn't mine! It's just thrilling really!

 

A Step Toward Home

“Close your eyes and follow your breath to the still place that leads to the invisible path that leads you home.”  ~ St. Teresa of Avila

My painting, “A Step Toward Home,” was nearly finished when I took a good hard look at my work and said to myself, “If you are going to do this, than do it.”  The next thing I knew, there was a big splotch of encaustic paint covering what had been a “perfectly good” painting.  Now perfectly good is fine, and sometimes you can be happy with it, but there are those times when something inside says you can do more.  Honestly, I didn’t know which way to go after laying down that paint so I just added more.  I fused and I scraped and I cursed myself repeatedly, but in the end I was indeed one step closer to home—I finally painted something that was me to the core…if that makes sense.  This painting business is a highly emotional journey—and I’m so happy that I found my way here!

Without Regret or Apology

I'm painting with much more frequency these days, and with that comes a better sense of personal style. I've struggled with that for some time-knowing there was something there that needed to get out, needed to be created, but whatever it was just out of reach. 

My newest painting, entitled "Without Regret or Apology" is about finding and embracing my personal style. Knowing I love muted, dark colors, rusty bits and things showing age and wear. I'm not whimsical or perky; my soul is quiet and reflective. I love whimsy and perky, but it's just not mine to create. 

This painting is off to The Art Center-Highland Park where it will be part of a fundraising event in May.  12x12 encaustic and oil on cradled panel. 

Encaustic Nature in Art

I am honored, excited, and truthfully a bit nervous to be a part of the encaustic exhibit at The Art Center of Mount Prospect that opens this evening! Two of my paintings were accepted, "Dust Bowl" and "Unsettled Plains." This is my first show ever! 

Transfers....

I've struggled endlessly with encaustic transfers, but I finally have one! It's not pristine, but it's recognizable! 

The Complexity of Time...

"It is never to late to be what you might have been." George Elliot

I am a late bloomer; there's just no denying it. Has it been an interesting path that has brought me here?  Sure, some of it, but parts of it were dry as the desert floor.  The thing is, fast or slow, exciting or dull, the time has past and here I am, knocking on creativity's door.  I do struggle to learn the technology that will allow me to connect with others, and feel a bit bad, deep down, that it took me so long to find my place, but if I don't start now yet another ten years will pass me by.  I am moving, Mr. Elliot, toward what I might have been.

With that said, today on day 2 of the 30 day painting challenge, my offering is a 6x6 mini abstract.  I had some fun and relaxed a bit as I mixed, experimented and played. I learned a few things, and while this probably isn't my favorite piece ever, I may just turn this little guy into a journal cover.  Actually, my intention was to do just that when I decided to join this challenge--create small paintings that I would be able to re-purpose. 

Choices We Make

"I am an artist.  I am an artist because I choose to be.  I am an artist because I have reconstructed my entire existence to include the art making process in my daily life." Samantha daSilva, Artist.

It's hard to hold up the artist banner.  I have been "playing" the role of artist for a few years now--trying out mixed media, coming to love the sweet smell of beeswax and the sheer thrill of fusing an encaustic painting with a torch instead of a heat gun, smearing and dotting acrylic paint with my fingers as I explore my beloved abstracts, and finding silent bliss in learning new bindings for my handmade journals. 

I am still exploring, still experimenting, and still reaching toward finding my own style, my own voice.  I've "pinned" plenty of inspiration, taken Flora Bowley's on line class and an in person encaustic/book workshop with Bridgette Guerzon Mills, but for the most part it's just me, a canvas and some paint.  Through it all I have been paying close attention to what speaks to me and what I aspire to, knowing that I am learning about myself with each brush stroke so that my art will become a reflection of me and not of the artists I admire.  That being said, I truly believe that those who teach us ultimately leave a mark on our soul and are therefore always represented in our art in some way. 

The abstracts I am creating now are me:  pure and simple, layered and complex.  When I look at them I can breathe: they soothe my frazzled nerves and quiet my scattered thoughts.  They make me want

to stand up and
shout: "I am an artist.  I am an artist because I choose to be." (Thank you, Samantha!)

 

What do you wish to experience?

Today Jamie Ridler asks, "What do you wish to experience?"  I gave this some real thought, but to be honest, my response could have been very different.  Not necessarily superficial, but not something that I truly need to experience in my life.  Let me tell you what happened.  Last September I came home from work to find that my home had been burglarized.  I live in the suburbs where it’s safe. Hey, I’ve lived in this area all my life.  It’s quiet, probably dull, and I have never felt fearful.  Until now.  Now every car that slows or stops in front of my home is suspect, as are the joggers, bicycle riders, and random noises—squeaks and creaks that any 50 year old house might make.  I am afraid and have been since the police left my house 11 months ago.   My fear isn’t as intense as it was, but it is with me every day.  My wish is to once again experience the feeling of being safe in one’s own space. 

Ok, I’d like to experience a live workshop with Flora Bowley too!  There’s one in Wisconsin, which isn’t too far from me coming up this fall, but it’s sold out and I’m on the wait list.  I’d love to get in!  By the way, Jamie just interviewed Flora on her podcast!  Thanks Jamie!

Share...

I'm always late for Wishcast Wednesday...maybe because it's my day off and I spend it cleaning and running about--who knows, I'm just late!  At any rate, this week we were asked what it is that we would like to share.  I've given it a lot of thought, and my wish is to have the opportunity to share my painting/art and consequently a bit of my heart and soul with the world.  That leaves one a bit vulnerable and perhaps a bit uncomfortable, but after taking Flora Bowley's Bloom True e-course (and 13 years of yoga practice), I've learned that being uncomfortable isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It really is an opportunity for growth if you let it be--if you can remember and then embrace the experience!  Ha! It's not always easy!   I'm starting on this painting this afternoon.  We'll see where it takes me--I know I'll be uncomfortable and frustrated and flustered, but ultimately transformed.